Babysitter!
by 96kagomine
Summary: Ben and Jeff are arguing again and Slender Man has had enough and he's going to do something about it! Follow a crazy 14 year old stalker and her supposed " sane " and Itachi loving friend. Rated M. May go up. Fluff? Love? Oh and cursing. Dunno.
1. Chapter 1 Has begun

**Chapter 1**

**Disclaimer: Me don't own anything**

\- _Somewhere in the woods-_

"My My, I really need to find babysitter for these children", signed Slender Man as he heard Jeff and Ben argue.

"Hmmmm... I wonder..." he trailed off, looking at some documents that held some of his victims ( AU: Dude, you keep documents?) " Hmmm...yes this one seems to be able to do the job, though how do I get her?," he asked himself.

_-Down Stairs- _

" No fair! You cheated!" accused Ben

" Nu-uh! You just can't stand someone beating you, you sore loser!", Screamed Jeff

"OHH~! Take that back you smiling freak!", Shouted Ben as he leaped at Jeff

"Fuck! Let go you stupid elf!" Cried Jeff as he tried to get Ben off of him

" No way! Not until you admit you cheated!" Screamed Ben wringing Jeff's neck.

" G-g-guys c-cant't you g-get a-along. I m-mean S-sender is g-going to g-get m-mad." Stuttered Hoodie as he tried to brake the fight.

" Don't worry Hoodie, Slender Man will break them apart like always", Masky said while eating cheesecake.

" I-I k-know b-but still..."

"Don't worry. Here want some cheesecake?" Offered Masky

"Y-yeah t-thanks", Mumbled Hoodie as he started to nibble an his piece of cheesecake.

"Welcome", Masky said as both of them watched as Ben and Jeff fought it off.

_-Up Stairs-_

"Yes she'll do", Slender Man said to him-self as he looks at a picture of a girl.

-_Crash-Break-Shouting-Bonk-_

Slender Man sighed "It's better if I get her now" -CRASH- _'Yes now would sound good'_

Slender Man got up and went down stairs...Only to find it ruined

When he arrived ... lets just says it wasn't a pretty sight:

Ben and Jeff were cutterd and bruised, the table and chairs were broken, Hoodie was sobbing in Masky's hoodie, cheesecake on both the killers faces and last but not least a very upset Sally while E.J. was trying to calm her down.

Slender Man wasn't please.

At all.

"What. Is. Going. On. Here?", with each pause a tentacle shot out.

The others froze in place.

**Kagomine: What do think? First chap. ummm... See u later? Sayonara Dudes!**


	2. Chapter 2 Is the clue

**Chapter 2 Di Lu**

**Disclaimer: I own everything bitches _**-** cops show up with gun out- ' Hands in the air!'_** **0-O SHIT!** -**hands in the air- I OWN NOTHING NADA NONE _-Cops put guns down - 'That's what we thought'-_ *mumbles* though I might own Itachi -what was that!- Nothing sir! Anyway Enjoy!**

" I-It's Bens fault he started it!", Jeff accused

" Nu-uh it's Jeff's fau-" Slender Man interrupted Ben as he rapt him and Jeff in his tentacles

" I am sick and tired of you two acting and arguing like 3 year olds, your teenagers almost adults so act like it instead of children!", As he said this the others watched in amusement and fear.

" Sally, please go get Jane and Laughing Jack for me. I have an announcement", Slender Man said

" _sniff…_ ok _sniff _", a now calm Sally said as she went up stairs

" So what's the announcement Slendy?" E.J. asked

" Please refrain from calling me that", Slendy politely pleaded " And wait till everyone's here. Oh and how is Hoodie, Masky?"

" He's fine, Jeff just threaten him and through his cheesecake", responded Masky

" M-Masky's r-right, I-I'm f-f-fine", stuttered Hoodie who was still in Masky's arms

" Hey Slendy what's the announcement?" asked Jane with a giggling Sally on her back and a laughing L.J. behind

" Well, now that every body's here let's begin", every one sat down in the couch, of course after releasing Ben and Jeff

" Very well, as you see, I have come to notice that _some_ of you act like little spoiled children", he looked at Ben, Jeff, Jane, and L.J. " That causes destruction all over the house", he paused to let the information sink in the started again " So I've decided to " hire" a babysitter" he let them soak the information in.

To say that all of them were shocked

"What the hell do you mean babysitter!" exclaimed a steaming Jeff who was still md about what happened

"It's exactly what it sounds like Jeff"

After that the dam broke

" We'll have a new friend?!"

" What is she/he like?!"

" Does she/he like kidneys?!"

" How about video games!?"

" What about cheesecake!?"

" W-What d-does s-she/he l-like to d-do?!

" I wonder _(giggles)_ will she/he like my candy _(laughs_)!?"

" HAHA I bet she /he like knifes!"

" Children that is enough!", Shouted Slendy

" I do not know anything about the child" Jane opened her mouth " Shut up Jane, now you see you didn't let me finish, now quiet down so I can" after every one quieted down he continue "As I said before you will have a babysitter who will help me take care of you, although we have to "pick" **_her_** up at the school **_she_** goes or **_her_** house".

" So she is in the human world?" asked E.J.

" That is correct"

" So we're going to be babysat by a 16 year old?" asked Masky

" No, you are going to be babysat by a 14 year old", said Slendy

…Silence…

"The Fuck" said Ben

At this L.J. hysterically

" I wonder if she'll like us?" Jane asked.

Oh Jane that is the least of your problems…

**Hoped you enjoyed this updates might be slow I dunno**


	3. Chapter 3 Is of curiosity

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: Hey guys! Long time no see. I'm been very busy. Sooo~ Anyway new chapter enjoy!**

**I don't own anything got it! So I want no Police or FBI or people to sue me or arrest me cause I got a lot to live for like this story and my phone and my table, my computer, my video games and my- ok you get my point so lets move on!**

Kirane Hagane, a 14 year old with a , sometimes, mentality of a 7 year old or just plain crazy.

Crystal Gonzales, another 14 year old who loves Itachi Uchiha and wishes to marry him...disturbing thoughts...moving on! They are both best friends since elementary school and have rich families. It was a normal day, well as normal as it can be with a mentally unstable friend, they were walking home though it was a bit far...

"Heehee Are we there yet.." asked Kirane

"No...and don't ask again!" said a frustrated Crystal, who was walking fast in order to get to see Naruto again.

"I wasn't the one who suggested to walk you know!...Are we there yet~" giggled a certain brown crimson eyed girl.

"For the last fuckin time shut up!"

"Ehhh? But I don't wanna!"

"...Bitch.."

"I'm a bitch...but I'm not your bitch hehehe~"

"Smartass..."

"At least I'm not a dumbass.."

"Are you saying I'm stupid?!"

"For someone stupid you sure figured it out quickly!"

"..."

"..."

They were now in the middle of a empty street.

"Hey...it's kinda empty here..." commented Kirane.

"What gave you that idea..." Crystal sarcastically said

.

.

.

.

"Shut up you big meanie..."

.

.

"Ohhhh~ look it's Slender Man! Hi! Slender!" Kirane waves happily at Slender Man who was in a black van he _'barrowed'._

"Dude, stop joking around, you know I hate scary stuff" Crystal looks around and sees nothing "There's nothing, you see?"

"Of course I see! And he was right there! Ya know! Huh? CryCry where you go?" Asked Kirane

True enough Crystal was nowhere in sight. Not under a tree, bush, rock...forget about the rock...but there is her book bag which Kirane thought it was so nice to dump out it's continents...

"Maybe I can get her phone..." She muttered to her self.

"Wonder where she is? Maybe she wants to scare me because I showed her Corpse Party? No she isn't like that since she's to scared of the dark. Oh well I guess I'll have her phone"

Suddenly there was a cloth around her mouth. Kirane's eyes widen and began to fight who ever was behind her.

**Slender Man's POV**

Slender was surprise a girl her age was able to hit that hard. He had left the other girl in care of the others, since she wasn't as important as the girl in front of him trying to fight him off...so he decide to use his tentacles...bad move...

_'oww! S-she bit me?!'_

In doing so she managed to get free and kicked him where the sun don't shine.

"Fuck you mother fucker! That is no way to treat a lady such as I!" Kirane shouted and began launching a bunch of curses at Slender...some even in a different language.

But again, because she had her mouth open another cloth, courtesy of Jeff, with a much stronger dose of...whatever you put to knock people out was around her and knocked her out completely.

.

.

.

"Shit...that was the whole damn bottle! And she still moving a bit!"

Slender groaned in pain.

"Come on she didn't kick you that hard did she?" A glare...or what looked like a glare...was directed at him, Jeff sniggered "So the great Slender Man has a weak spot after all huh" Laughed Jeff, Slender Man responded by slapping him upside the head.

"Shut up and respect her, she is after all your babysitter" Slender despite being kicked below understood why she did it, after all what would YOU do if that happened to you? Then again if it happened again...

"Yeah Yeah I got it" Jeff muttered as he was hit again.

"Let us get going" And so the left without a trace of being there in the first place.

**Kagomine: What chu think my precious slav- Ahh I mean readers? Yea readers...so sorry for not updating soon , I was kinda stuck,,,,So any way hope you enjoyed it!**

**Cop that wasn't there before- wait wha?-: Stop right there!**

**Kagomine: Shit!0-o They found me! Sorry gotta go! -grabs unconscious Itachi and stuffs him under the bed and jumps out the window- I'll come back later... Just you wait...You'll regret it...Heeheeheehehehe It's a promise of a life time Heehahahahaha~! **


	4. Chapter 4 Let's open the door

**Chapter 4 Let's open the door**

**Kagomine: Hey guys how you doing? So I finally decided to update chapter 4. I was going to updated yesterday but I was helping my friend with a FanFic she wanted to write, and I'm also her beta so yeah and it's called **_**Velvet Dark Blue. **_**She still hasn't updated it yet, so anyway to the storyyy~.**

_Slender Mansion_

Kirane was the first to awaken despite having more overdosed, she woke up in a nice normal room with Crystal on her side _'What the- oh I remember. Wonder what they want. Heehee that was kind of fun~'_

Right then Slender decided to enter the room.

"So you're awake, how do you feel?"

Kirane deadpanned then smiled creepily, "Like someone who got kidnapped and knocked out", Slender chuckled "Right, sorry about that, so anyway I have something to discuss about with you, may we go to my study?"

Kirane nodded and giggled, "Sure thing, just make sure CryCry is safe and I won't start castrating every one of you and the girls I'll mutilate and bury", She then started to laugh, " Sorry about that, it's just the thought makes me laugh", Slender sweat dropped ," Right, should we get going? , I assure you your friend will be safe", She nodded," Very well, let's go."

So they made their way to Slender's study, upstairs. " Where are the others?", Kirane asked, " There _hunting _, but don't worry they'll be hear soon enough", She nodded and took a seat ." What do you want to talk about?", Slender sigh ," Well I was hoping you would…babysit the others…while I take…a vacation…to Hawaii," Slender wasn't sure if she was going to do it, but for god's sake! He was tired and needed a break!

Kirane took a deep breath and spoke , " I guess…but take Sally with you…hehe I'm not good with kids", Slender sigh _'At least it's Sally' _," Very well, I'll leave once everything settled in", She nodded and began giggling.

' _I wonder if I made the right choice' _Slender thought.

Suddenly there was a scream.

" Oh no! CryCry, I'm coming CryCry! Hang on!", Kirane got up and ran to where the Crystal was in.

"What did those idiots do now?", muttered Slender Man.

_With Crystal_

'_What the fucks going on! And where the hell is that stupid idiot!'_

" Kirane! Where the fuck are you!" She screamed

" Please calm dow-", EJ never got to finish cause he was thrown to the ground by a scary yandere looking Kirane.

" Hehehe…what do you think you're doing EJ-chan~?" She said in a singing voice.

And now everyone's is like _'Oh shit'_

**Kagomine: Heh sorry it's not long, I'm having trouble with the scenes so yea, and I'm still running from the cops…just because I barrowed Itachi. Any way hope you enjoy and see you in the next update~ **


	5. Chapter 5 is alive (finally right?)

**Kagomine: Well…uh..sorry? Um..let us begin…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…**

"Talking"

'_Thinking' _

"Uh…who the hell are you?" asked E.J. looking at the mentally unstable yangire.

"Ahh~ My name is Kirane, Kirane Hagane, your babysitter and future tormentor. Now what are you doing to my bite sized best friend?" asked Kirane looking for something to castrate the blue masked teen.

"HEY! Who are you calling bite sized!?" yelled Crystal getting up and heading toward Kirane.

"I'm sorry, I meant fun sized"

" Why you little insane psychopath!.."

" And a very proud one"

" Shut up and handle this!"

"Yes little lady"

"That's Lady Uchiha to you"

"Whatever you say" said the crimson-brown eyed girl as she ushered everyone out of the room.

**Outside the room**

Once everyone was out of the room Kirane took command, "Everyone…GET THE HELL IN THE F*CKING LIVING ROOM!" she snapped, Everyone ran to the living room in hopes on not getting castrated or mutilated by the insane girl with sewing scissors in hand. "SLENDY! YOU AND SALLY ASWELL! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?" Kirane yelled as she headed to the kitchen. There was a note taped to the door of the refrigerator:

'_Good luck on taking care of them. Good-bye._

_Slender Man._

_P.S.: 'Forgiveness in advance'_

Kirane sighed 'He kidnaps us in the middle of a street, explains it as a summary, and leaves as the trouble begins…Man I knew my life was fucked up, but not this much…..hehehehe~ well the funs just beginning! All I have to do is just take care of them for two months and I'll be back to my normal days- with Crystal of course'

"Man…so troublesome..sigh, Crystal get your ass here!" she yelled

"For what!?"

"Come on! We got a job to do!"

"Nu-uh! I am not going to babysit them!" said/shouted Crystal as she opened the door

"You have to! Or I'll be lonely!" Kirane wined

"Says who?" Said Crystal she fully opened the door

"Says the queen of mother fucking England!"

"You aren't the queen of England!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are not!"

"Are too times ten!" Crystal screamed before she knew what she just said

"…hahahahahahahahahaha!~" Kirane laughed, the raven haired girl blushed in embarrassment when she realized what the hell just happened. "Shut Up Kirane!" Crystal yelled, "Hahaha~ Man you totally are a tsundere!" The crimson eyed girl stated before getting down to business, "Look, I know you don't like it but, it's either that or possibly be killed besides it could be fun!" the dark haired girl chirped, 'How is being with a bunch of killers be fun? …Then again I'm in love with a guy who probably killed 318 people' The midnight eyed haired girl sighed, "Ok, we'll babysit them…but, I want 55% of what Slender will pay you"

"…..dude?"

"What…?"

"We're already rich…"

"So?"

"I..never mind… lets go to the living room." And so the best friends walk towards the living room.

**Living Room**

"So…you are our babysitter?" asked Jeff 'I wonder what there like…?'

"Uh..yeah…" Crystal answered awkwardly

"Sooo…awkward…" Ben said

"…Ok! Guys-", Kirane started only to get interrupted

"And girls…"

"And girls, let us introduce our selves…in the next chapter!"

Everyone looked at her with a WTF face and stared in silence…for 12 seconds…

"W-what do you m-mean 'next c-chapter'?", asked Hoodie

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it…", Kirane said mysteriously

**Kagomine: And until next time sweet things! Don't forget to review and tell me your opinions on this…thing..story..chapter. And please feel free to tell me what I should do next, cause I'm totally lost on what to do!~ Hau~Chu~**


	6. Chapter 6 lives!

Kagomine: OK!...ladies and gentlemen…you know what? Screw it…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides Kirane and Crystal is owned by shinku27rozen

You know how it goes…

"Ok! Let us introduce our selves, I'll go first: My name is Kirane Hagane, I'm 14, I like anime, tapioca, fanfiction, anything pretty or shiny, my friends and I think my family, art, and I also like Killua, Gon, Kurapika, Hisoka and The Oreo, my phones, headphones, earphones, computer, sweets, chocolate, and PC, I hate traitors, Mexican bands, anything annoying, being disturbed, and people talking behind back and about me, my hobbies are listening to music, painting, drawing, cooking, baking, reading fanfiction, watching anime, going..to….school….and doing crazy things! And my dream is get rid of all the bitches and bastards out there! Except for a few…" She finishes while looking at Crystal

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" The raven haired girl glared at our favorite pyscho

"Nothing much… Now introduce yourself!"

"Fine…My name is Crystal Gonzales, I'm also 14, I like anime, fanfiction, my friends and I my family, and I also like Itachi and the Akatsuki, my phone, earphones, computer, and annoying people, I hate traitors, Mexican bands, being disturbed, and people talking behind back and about me, my hobbies are listening to music, reading fanfiction, watching anime, going to school, and my dream is to be Mrs. Crystal Uchiha and be a vet doctor, I think…" she finished

"Ok! Any questions?"

"Do you lik-" Ben started

"Ok! That's good!" Kirane chirped

"Dude?"

"Yeah?"

"When is Naruto the last movie going to come out?"

They chatted over everything in Naruto and Naruto Shippuden for hours that they didn't notice it was already 4:46 A.M. And while the chatted Masky and Hoodie ate 57 cheesecakes, baked 27, Jane went to her room not knowing what the other two girls were talking about, Jeff went on killing sprees, Laughing Jack killed everyone in the candy store and took all the candy, melted them and made something different that I'll leave to your imagination, Eyeless Jack went to eat dinner and now has stomachache, "Oh~ Kidney Queen…why.. d-do you…hate me so~? Oh~ god.. the….p-pain" he groaned in pain, ok moving on… Ben went to scare the living shit out of people and now is in his room playing video games.

What wonderful and responsible babysitters Kirane and Crystal are, ne?

Now let's see how Slendy and Sally are doing

"Ahh~ Now this is life~. Careful of the water Sally…" Said Slendy as Sally went into the water to play and look for seashells 'Yes… it was worth getting those babysitters…..I wonder how they are doing…?' he thought in wonder, "Well, not my business anymore.", he chuckled

Kagomine: Well, I hope you enjoyed. Please review and give me your opinion…oh! And also check out my and my best friends story called "Hunter x Crystal x Kirane" and tell or review who should end up with Killua!

Thanks!


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